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08 February 1979 @ 02:11 pm
 
Work is dull, as per usual, but it’s especially dull after a weekend full of drunken carousing. Unfortunately, none of my esteemed customers are content to let me wallow in these doldrums properly. They all insist on loitering around the counter and boring me with Quidditch talk. I now loathe Quidditch fans even more, which I honestly didn’t think was possible. My own capacity for complete and utter revulsion is a constant surprise.

I also didn’t realise that Quidditch supplies could be trussed up for Valentines Day. Rest assured, though, they can. Actually, the whole Alley is looking appropriately tarty. It’s as if an army of fourteen-year-old girls swept in during the night and vomited pink streamers and cheap heart cutouts everywhere. There is an overabundance of cheap chocolate, though, which is tolerable (that reminds me, I ought to send Patty some so she doesn’t end up feeling depressed).

Lastly, my flatmate left for Aruba this morning. I don’t know why (it’s a bloody mystery, actually. What the fuck do matronly old witches need in Aruba?) but I do know that I will be spreading out my star charts tonight and no one will be around to whinge about it. Ha ha.
 
 
 
mundungus h fletcherdunged on September 8th, 2007 09:34 pm (UTC)
so you have extra room in your flat
Marlene McKinnon: sarcasm is imminent.anticlaw on September 8th, 2007 09:39 pm (UTC)
No, no, no. A thousand times, no.
mundungus h fletcher: i don't fucking caredunged on September 8th, 2007 09:49 pm (UTC)
I just came into a lot of fucking money, McKinnon, a LOT of fucking MONEY so there's extra everything to go around...all I ask in return is food and bed and maybe a grope yeah?
Marlene McKinnon: sarcasm is imminent.anticlaw on September 8th, 2007 09:53 pm (UTC)
Are you peddling organs, now?
mundungus h fletcher: holding the good shitdunged on September 8th, 2007 09:58 pm (UTC)
once upon a time but never again, well not never maybe just not for a while, it's a shady fucking business, love
Marlene McKinnon: caught off guard.anticlaw on September 8th, 2007 10:00 pm (UTC)
Shite.
mundungus h fletcher: holding the good shitdunged on September 8th, 2007 11:08 pm (UTC)
shite what, jesus fuck I'd never harvest your organs...unless it was your heart
Marlene McKinnon: caught off guard.anticlaw on September 8th, 2007 11:21 pm (UTC)
I just can't believe you actually

Oh, that was just bad.
mundungus h fletcher: holding the good shitdunged on September 8th, 2007 11:22 pm (UTC)
or your tits, either way
Marlene McKinnon: sarcasm is imminent.anticlaw on September 8th, 2007 11:24 pm (UTC)
I don't think tits count as organs, Fletcher.
mundungus h fletcher: holding the good shitdunged on September 8th, 2007 11:26 pm (UTC)
I'm the fucking expert on the subject, love

hey so your flat
Marlene McKinnon: cleans up well.anticlaw on September 8th, 2007 11:30 pm (UTC)
Do you really think I'm going to let you come and camp out in my flatmate's room? She fucking embroiders things. I doubt you could even survive in there.
mundungus h fletcher: holding the good shitdunged on September 8th, 2007 11:38 pm (UTC)
why hello miss twat it doesn't have to be her room, I'm fucking short I fit under tables, on couches, and I'm sure you have a room too
Marlene McKinnon: oh damn.anticlaw on September 8th, 2007 11:41 pm (UTC)
Oh, bugger it.

How long do you need a couch?
mundungus h fletcher: holding the good shitdunged on September 8th, 2007 11:44 pm (UTC)
oh you are the most lovely bird to ever cross my path, there is much in fucking store for tonight, also does your flatmate collect anything

rest of my fucking life, how long's your saggy friend gone for
Marlene McKinnon: marlene watches from the wall.anticlaw on September 8th, 2007 11:47 pm (UTC)
No, and THERE ARE RULES. If you don't follow them I will kick your arse, or enlist someone else to kick your arse. Either way, you're getting your arse kicked.

A week.
mundungus h fletcher: holding the good shitdunged on September 8th, 2007 11:51 pm (UTC)
fine fine I'll follow your fucking rules you fascist twat BUT A LOVELY FASCIST TWAT MIND YOU, what are the rules

oh you are such a right fucking angel, we'll see if it lasts that long
(no subject) - anticlaw on September 8th, 2007 11:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dunged on September 9th, 2007 12:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - anticlaw on September 9th, 2007 12:04 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dunged on September 9th, 2007 12:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dunged on September 8th, 2007 11:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - anticlaw on September 8th, 2007 11:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
mundungus h fletcher: holding the good shitdunged on September 8th, 2007 11:41 pm (UTC)
look I'm not a gay sleep humper like Fagian, Bones even told me once that I'm rather fucking snuggly, like a teddy even
Marlene McKinnon: sarcasm is imminent.anticlaw on September 8th, 2007 11:42 pm (UTC)
Stop now before I vomit. You're not staying in my bed.
mundungus h fletcher: i don't fucking caredunged on September 8th, 2007 11:44 pm (UTC)
we'll see
Marlene McKinnon: caught off guard.anticlaw on September 8th, 2007 11:45 pm (UTC)
I CAN STILL CHANGE MY MIND.
(no subject) - dunged on September 8th, 2007 11:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - anticlaw on September 8th, 2007 11:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Caradoc Trefor Aled Hefin Dearbornsteadied on September 8th, 2007 10:07 pm (UTC)
I didn't know you didn't have a place to stay!
mundungus h fletcher: you looking to buy?dunged on September 9th, 2007 03:43 am (UTC)
yeah! poor Dung, he's all by his fucking lonesome living off cobwebs and rats and being stalked by fucking death eaters and sleeping under copies of the prophet and dying of fucking what do you call it, the big word for when you just get too fucking cold, but yeah that's how fucking glamourous my life is, I try not to cry too much over it but what can you do eh
Em: cfluctuated on September 9th, 2007 06:34 pm (UTC)
You can sell to me, that's what you can do! I'll even let you smoke up at my house sometime if you promise a. to leave when I ask, b. clothed and 'accidental' groping only, c. you'll stay the fuck out of my kitchen (fridge, sink, et al.) d. my mum will not catch a glimpse of you. NOT A SINGLE GLIMPSE.
mundungus h fletcher: holding the good shitdunged on September 9th, 2007 10:20 pm (UTC)
sounds like a fucking spy mission I am so there expect me when you least fucking expect me, love